Frequently Asked Questions

The last few weeks have brought quite an influx of questions my way.  They have come in the form of email, text, and even a few in person.  They have come from friends, family, acquaintances, and even a couple strangers starting their own journey with this thing called cancer.  So I figured why not do a whole blog post with all the questions I have gotten lately?  Well, here it is.

1.  How are you doing?
I have to say I am doing very well.  Physically I feel stronger and healthier than I have for a long time.  (Not that I ever really felt sick to be truthful.)  I have started a new exercise routine that includes not only walking and yoga but also high intensity intervals, jogging, cardio-dance, muscle strength exercises/kickboxing, etc.  Mostly I do this with help from a DVD (Erin Stutland's Shrink Session DVDs).  The wonderful thing about the DVDs is that while doing them, you are also incorporating in affirmations and mantras, and they always end with a short meditation.  It is really uplifting and helpful.  She includes a CD with meditations as well.  She has a very soothing voice, and no matter the time of day, the meditations are a great way to focus more on the moment at hand.  (If you want to hear more about the DVD, check this website out: http://shrinksessionworkout.com/.)

I will admit that I have days where my emotions are all over the place.  One friend put it this way, "Isn't it a roller coaster?"  It sure feels like it some days.  On those days, I just do my best to stay in the moment.  If need be, I do some extra breathing exercises, and often I increase my meditation and prayer time.  Often times, I just need me time.  Actually, I have to have alone time on these days especially.  I know for sure I will usually get at least three 15-20 minute breaks.  (My coffee breaks are my alone time. Haha.  The things we look forward to, huh?)

2.  Have you had any new tests or scans done lately?
No.  My last PET scan was over a year ago (December of 2013).  My last blood draw was February of 2014.  I have not felt the need for further testing, and my local doctor has agreed that it is not necessary at this time since my lump currently is easy to follow and I am not showing any signs of metastasis.

3.  Are you free of cancer?
I don't think so.  For me to qualify as cancer-free I suppose that I would have to go in and have some testing done (PET scan for sure and maybe a couple blood tests).  I still have a lump in my left armpit that we have been keeping a close eye on for over a year now.  It is very superficial and easy to feel.  It is easily measured and therefore easy to see what it is doing.  It originally was shaped like a dumbbell standing upright.  In the last year the lower portion has shrunk significantly, and when last checked by my local doctor, he felt that it no longer was connected to the underlying tissue.  It feels just like a small, hard sliver under the skin.  The top portion too has changed.  It used to be an irregular, lumpy shape, but now it is smoother and more bulbous to touch.  It too seems to be very free floating and if still connected to the underlying tissue, it is not much at all.

4.  Do you still follow the Gerson protocol?
I can't say that I truly am doing the Gerson protocol anymore.  I would say it is more a modified Gerson protocol.  I still eat lots of fresh and cooked fruits and vegetables.  I do now eat nuts, farm fresh eggs from my parents' farm, and also chicken, beef, and small bits of pork from the farm.  I only eat this meat because I know exactly what they eat and consume.  They are all pasture fed or free range animals free of antibiotics and growth hormones.  If my parents cared to take the time to certify it as organic, it would be.  I still make most everything from scratch, and occasionally I will go to a local organic restaurant.

5.  Do you still follow up with the Gerson doctors?
I don't really follow their protocol to the letter, so I don't follow up with them anymore.  It seems silly to call them just to disregard what they recommend.  That is not to say I don't appreciate all they have done for me.  My body needed those 10 months of pure Gerson therapy.  It needed a good cleanse, and I definitely needed to detox.  I got what I needed, and I am thankful for the knowledge I gained from them.

6.  Do you still juice, and if so, how much do you juice?
I do still juice.  It has changed though.  I no longer do juice on an hourly basis like I used to.  Mostly it is because it is so time consuming.  I now do 2 green drinks worth of juice just after breakfast, and then I make 32 oz. of carrot juice with one apple in it.  I drink the green juice immediately as it oxidizes so quickly, and then I drink the carrot juice slowly over the next 4 hours or so.  I then do this all over again in the afternoon once my carrot juice is all gone.  Soon I will decrease the amount of juice I take.  I will always juice though, so I am glad to have the experience and to feel like it is doable on an ongoing basis.

7.  Do you still do coffee enemas, and if so, how many?
I still do them.  I have decreased them to just three times a day.  They are not always enjoyable, but as I said above, they mean quiet, alone time for me.  Plus, they continue to benefit my body and clean the liver.

8.  Would you do it all over again (treatment and surgery) knowing what you know now?
Yep.  I would do it all over again.  Every single choice that I have made.  I have learned so much and feel so great.  I have learned to find answers for myself and go with what my heart tells me is right for me.  The choice to do the mastectomy and my choice to treat the cancer with diet, etc. was the right choice for me, and I wouldn't change a thing.

Don't get me wrong.  I sometimes mourn what I had.  In fact. for the first year after my mastectomy, every time I saw a mother with a baby, or more specifically a breast feeding mother, I would break down in tears.  I knew I would never be able to do that again.  I still miss my breasts occasionally today for more cosmetic reasons, but it doesn't change that I would do it all over again.

9.  Are you enjoying life on the farm?
I really enjoy living here.  It is fun to have the birds singing outside the bedroom window every morning and to hear the coyotes howling occasionally at night.  Sometimes we even see deer, pheasant, and quail wondering around the property.  It is fun to see things grow from seed and watch the animals change before my eyes.  It is great to see my boys explore and learn things here in nature.  It is especially gratifying to watch all the cousins together.  It has been wonderful for my husband as well to get to know the family better and to find his passion in nature.

It has been an adjustment for me in other ways though to be sure.  I was used to living just a couple blocks from the grocery store and other conveniences, so that was and still is a big change for me.  I sometimes miss the hiking and jogging on the green belt or in the foothills.  I miss being close to friends and some family as well, but it just makes going to town all the better.  I feel like I appreciate things a bit more when I do have the opportunity to make the trip.

10. Are you growing most of your own produce?
In the summer we do grow most all of the produce that we need, but in the winter we do have to go shopping.  We have some plans to build an underground greenhouse, and that will make it possible for us to grow our own produce year round.  We are super excited to make this happen.

11.  Why haven't you posted lately?
This is a good question, and it has many answers.  I stay quite busy all the time.  I spend the day preparing food from scratch for myself and my family, juicing, coffee breaking, taking care of my kids, and I now help out with school as well.  We decided to home school our kiddos and the rest of their cousins with the help of their parents.  We all took different subjects, and we all split the work up.  We have a fourth grader, a second grader, and three kindergartners. It has been great (and sometimes very challenging) so far, and all the kids are learning and growing in leaps and bounds.  I am teaching Latin (thank you medical terminology) and science.  It does take time to plan the classes and make lesson plans.

I also haven't had any tests done for over a year and don't have a lot of change to report.  I don't feel the need or push to do so right now.  I have learned to trust my self more and worry less about what the tests and doctors say.  For me, this feels right.

After really thinking about this though I did come up with another answer.  This past year or two has in some ways been very difficult with the passing of some great friends (some just friends of friends or acquaintances or just people that I follow as well) and watching them and their families struggle.  I also have seen so many other people diagnosed with cancer or other chronic illnesses, and it is very hard to watch at times.  Recently, I have also seen many pediatric cancer patients being diagnosed and treated, and that in itself is very hard to hear about and witness.  I know it seems strange, but I almost feel guilty about doing so well physically when others seem to really be struggling and sometimes losing their fight.  I know it is irrational, and so now that I have identified it, I am working on it.  I am a work in progress for sure.

So, if there was an answer that you had that I didn't get around to answering, just leave me a comment.  I will do my best to get it answered for you.  Also, if you have some ideas on things you would like to see me post, feel free to leave a comment on that as well.  Thanks!  Love you all!

From Surviving to Thriving

With the two year anniversary of my breast cancer diagnosis (March 19 to be exact), I have been reflecting a lot on my journey.  Wow.  I have learned so much.  I have come a long way.  I am doing this.  I remember about a year ago on my one year anniversary thinking this same thing.   Who thought that I could still have the capacity to learn and grow even more?  And in such great big leaps and bounds?  It reminds me of the famous quote by Aristotle:

Or the one by Albert Einstein:

My life will be forever changed by my diagnosis.  I will never live life the same way again.  I will always juice, and I will always be very conscious about what I eat.  I will always meditate, and I will always do my best to live in a more mindful and conscious way.  This is okay.  It is even a good thing.  It is better than that.  It is a great thing.  Sometimes I forget how great it is...

I have a great group of friends who ask thoughtful questions or give you a thought to ponder on a weekly basis.  A couple of weeks ago the question/thought was:
Notice how it feels when you say "I have to..." versus "I get to..." about commitments, work, events, etc. Then take note about the results in an area of your life where you find yourself saying "I have to...".  Do you feel a difference?

That was a good thought for me.  I thought and pondered on this for a long time.  I often find myself saying on quite a daily basis "I have to juice." or "I have to make dinner." or "I have to go to school.", etc.  Which after I thought about it, what I was really saying was, "I don't have time for these other things because I have to do this stuff."  I was completely focused on the not so fun part rather than the complete opportunity and privilege that I have to care for myself and my family.  I have the ability to stay home and lovingly care for myself and my well-being and to prepare delicious and nutritious foods for me and my family.  I also am privileged to be able to help with the education of my children and nieces.  I completely lost focus and forgot that not all people are able to do this. What an aha moment for me.

And so I realize that as much as I have learned since my diagnosis, I am still learning.  I will never stop learning and growing.  I am a work in progress.  It just keeps getting better and better.  I now realize that it is not just about surviving my monotonous every day life.  It is about taking that life and making it beautiful and noticing the everyday miracles.  It is about those wonderful aha moments.  It is about living fully and sometimes that means changing your perspective to see all of the amazing-ness (maybe this is not a word since my spell check is alerting me...) that surrounds me.

So I have decided that I am no longer just going to survive.  I have decided that I am going to go all out and thrive.  I am going to enjoy the small things.  I am going to love the journey.  People go along in their everyday lives and they just try to get through their days.  They want to get through their week and to the weekend and then through the holidays and then onto vacation, etc., etc.. Somewhere along the way I think that we forget to truly live and smell the roses and to enjoy the beauties and miracles of everyday life.  At least I do.

So now my goal is to live life to the fullest.  I shall now leave you with a quote from the beloved Maya Angelou who says things so beautifully and whose words explain exactly how I feel.  What a great example of humanity and true beauty.

Thank you Maya.