More Than the Physical (Part 2)

So, after my last doctors appointment, I was feeling kinda down.  I know the CT results were good, but I did let my surgeon's words get to me.  Now I needed to pick myself back up and get on with my healing.  I felt that as long as I was carrying this fear with me, I was hindering the healing.  So, what to do?

The first thing I did was set up some time to get some more RET (Rapid Eye Technology) done.  I was lucky that I knew a practitioner, and she could see me rather quickly.  We worked on healing and fear in this session together.  It was almost an instantaneous transformation afterwards with me.  I felt confident and powerful once more, but also tired and ready to take a nap.  (For those that don't remember, here is a link for more information:  http://rapideyetechnology.com.)

The next thing I did was call my Osteopathic physician and set up an appointment with her.  She has this wonderful therapeutic way about her.  It is so nice to just sit down and talk with her and run ideas past her. She truly is gifted energetically as well.  You always walk out of her office with a great sense of well being, and she does give the best advice.

She advised me to really think about who I see as doctors and how often I see them.  She advised me to look within myself and see what I really needed.  One wonderful thing about her, she never tells me what to do. She always encourages me to find my own way.  Everyone is different, and we all require different things. We all have to find our own way.  I have also noticed that once I have made decisions, she will support me even if she doesn't understand them herself.

Once I left her office, I asked myself, "Do I need to see a radiation oncologist?".  My first thought was of course not.  I have no intention of ever having any radiation treatments done.  I would be wasting both my time and the doctor's and staff's time.  I asked the same thing about this new oncologist.  My Osteopathic physician had told me she had heard good things about this oncologist and he was open to alternative treatments, so I decided I would at least consults with him and see how I felt with him.

So, what else have I done to help with controlling the fear?  I listen to good dancing music and I keep moving.  When you dance, it's hard to be depressed or scared or in that place of fear.  It must release a happy endorphin, because it's really hard to not be happy when you dance and wave your arms around a bit.

I have also researched more in the spiritual realm of healing with help from God, Heavenly Father, and our Creator.  It seems there are so many ways to do this.  Meditation is something that I am really working on. There are so many ways and different techniques.  Daily affirmations and visualizations are super important to me as well.  I also try to always pray and give gratitude for all the many blessings in my life, for I know that my life is full of them.  Learning to see this diagnosis as a blessing has really opened up doors for me too. You just know you've got to be healing when you can give thanks for all things.

I have also started reading about other people in my situation that have healed themselves in similar ways. It's good to see that this can be done with the right attitude and physical environment.  There are so many people out there and each used his or her own method to bring themselves back to health.

I would be very lost without all of my Gerson buddies that I met at the clinic in Mexico.  What an amazing support system I have found there.  It's nice to know they understand me and where I'm coming from in most cases.  Even though they all live very far away, I know they are all just an email away.  I love modern technology!

My family and friends (it's sometimes hard to differentiate the two as they are all both  family and friends to me) have been an amazing help.  A simple text or message from a friend makes the day that much better. Some friends give me resources and books to read or send me links for different meditation and spiritual healing techniques. Others take me away for the weekend.  The support and the love is always coming, and I always appreciate it.  I truly feel like the luckiest girl around.  I am blessed beyond measure.  How can you be down when you are surrounded by love?

So what's next?  I believe I will try me some Theta Healing.  The class starts the beginning of November.  It sounds very interesting to say the lest.  It has helped a close family member recover from debilitating back pain. What is Theta Healing?  Good question.  Here is the answer that I found from their website:

"ThetaHealing® is a technique that focuses on thought and prayer. ThetaHealing® teaches how to put to use our natural intuition, relying upon unconditional love of Creator Of All That Is to do the actual “work”. We believe by changing your brain wave cycle to include the “Theta” state, you can actually watch the Creator Of All That Is create instantaneous physical and emotional healing." 

(http://www.thetahealing.com/about-thetahealing.html)

I can't wait to learn more about it to help with my healing journey.  I'm always willing to learn and ask questions about new things.  You never know if they are the right for you until you do the research.

So, let me know what works for all of you.  Feel free to leave a comment about what you do to center yourself and find that inner peace.

Mesothelioma Awareness Day ( September 26)

This post is in honor of my dear friends Terry and Donna.  I met Terry at Clinica Nutricion y Vida (the Gerson Clinic in Tijauna, Mexico).  Terry is a United States Navy veteran, and was diagnosed with mesothelioma just a couple of years ago.  He has an angel of a wife, and together with a great faith in God, they show the world how to be beautiful, giving human beings no matter your lot in life.  They are truly amazing and an example to us all.

So, on Thursday, (Mesothelioma Awareness Day), check out the link below to see some common facts and information on Mesothelioma.

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/emily/8-things-you-should-know-about-mesothelioma.htm

The website is full of great resources and information for anyone seeking it.  Thank you to Emily for making me more aware.

My Four Month Post-Op and CT Scan Review

9/5/13

Well, I was riding on a natural high after speaking with Dr. Cervantes the day before this visit.  I was truly so excited about what Dr. Cervantes had to tell me.  I think I was a little distracted with this though, and so I didn't prepare myself as well for this visit as I normally would have.  

When Mom and I got to his office, it was the normal check-in process:  wait, get vitals, go over history, and "strip down to the waist" and "put the paper top on".  Then you just wait for the doctor to come in.

When he did make it in there, he greeted us, and he gave me my copy of "Dying to Have Known" documentary back.  He mentioned that he did watch all 52 chapters of it.  Wow.  I then asked him how he liked it.  He said something to the effect that it was fine, but he did think it was a bit anecdotal.  Fair point.  I then mentioned I should have given him Dr. Gerson's book.  It was full of facts, studies, charts, and lots of boring information.  (It is written by a scientist and man wanting to show his research, so this isn't bad.  It just is more factual and less fluff.)  He mentioned that boring is more to his liking if it shows the research.  Got it.

He quickly moved on to the CT scan.  Once again there was no spreading to any vital organs.  The lymph nodes under the sternum seemed to have shrunk and be of normal shape and size.  There were still lymph nodes in the left armpit area that seemed abnormal.  Got it.

He then wanted to do a physical exam on me to see if he could feel any lymph nodes and check my surgical scars, etc.  No problem.  This is a normal thing from a doctor especially one that recently did surgery on me.  He knew just where to look after seeing the scan and seeing the lymph nodes on it.  He found the first one right in my armpit just under one of the scars I carried from the biopsy in March.  He asked if I had noticed it feeling larger than normal, and I mentioned I could only feel just a tiny bit of scar tissue just below the scar. He wasn't so sure it was just scar tissue anymore though.

The next place he found something was sitting on top of my clavicle in the lateral 1/3.  He had me feel it, but it was quite hard to feel anything.  All the same, it made me feel sad that he could feel anything anywhere. No matter.  I still had some great results and it was something to celebrate.

At this point he recommended that I find a radiation oncologist for a consult and recommended a biopsy of the lymph node in my axilla.  He would also like for me to see another normal oncologist for that matter.  He didn't feel like my current oncologist was serving me in any capacity, so maybe it would be good to see someone else.

I really didn't see the point of that since they are all trained the same.  They know chemotherapy, and they know radiation.  They really don't know any other alternatives to the conventional, so why see them?  He then said he would like for me to see a certain one that didn't even see breast cancer cases anymore, but he could get me in.

I laughed inappropriately at this.  I don't know why, but it seemed funny.  He looked at me in a funny way, and said, "Really I can."  I felt like he was coming from a place of true concern and care, so I felt a little silly.  I was a little embarrassed at my outburst and a bit touched, but still not really interested at all.

At this point, Mom did pipe in with some good thoughts.  Here it is in a nutshell.  First, according to them, I was basically a stage IV (this came from my oncologist as a scare tactic on the last visit), and at this point all the treatment they could give me would just extend my life, not save it.  (Just to set the record straight I am not stage IV.  I am not symptomatic, and I have no pain, etc.  I feel great.)  So, why would I even consider doing chemo and radiation at this point?  It would just make my quality of life miserable.

My surgeon replied that yes the above is basically true, but if I were to let the lymph nodes in my armpit grow out of control or spread to other regions, I could get a festering wound and infections. At that point my quality of life would be horrible anyways.  Why would I let things get out of hand?  Why not try to make things as bearable as possible?

I was a little freaked out at how they were talking.  To be honest, I remember my oncologist saying something slightly similar at the last visit, but for some reason when I heard my mom say it and then the surgeon confirm it, my wonderful phone consult with Dr. Cervantes the day before didn't matter.  My heart fell, and I felt scared for the first time since my original diagnosis back in March.  It is a horrible feeling to be stuck in fear, and when you are in that place, you just feel helpless.

So, he asked me if I would be willing to go for a consult with the radiation oncologist and also with a new medical oncologist.  From my place of fear I said okay.  What can it hurt to consult with them?  Talking doesn't hurt.  He said he would get things set up for me.  He also stated he would like to keep an eye on things, so he wanted me back in a month.  I said that was fine, and he said he would arrange for me to see the other oncologists.

I broke down a little bit once he left, and I told Mom I was feeling a bit down.  Why had I let this get me down?  Why could he make me feel this way?  I suppose it would be more appropriate to say why did I let what he said make me feel this way?  That's when I realized that I hadn't protected myself and prepared myself to hear what he was going to say and find.  I knew he would say and do these things, and I didn't mentally prepare myself.

Mom was great and she did her best to get me focused back on healing and not the fear that I felt, for she knows as well as I that to win you must put your attention on healing and being whole.  If I focus on the fear, that is all I feel, and the fight is over.  I know for me this battle is all about my attitude and the way I carry myself and on keeping the faith.  It is about keeping the faith in God, Heavenly Father, Jesus, The Creator etc., but mostly it is about keeping the faith in myself.  God gave me this battle so that I would show my true self.  I am powerful.  I am healed and whole and healthy.  This is not a punishment but a gift.  He is showing me that I am able to do anything.  I am capable of everything.  The impossible is possible.

Once Mom and I had a good talk, I let her go, and I headed on home.  Before I got too far, I got a phone call to set up my radiation oncology appointment.  That was fast.  I guess he really can pull some strings.  I set the appointment up for the next Tuesday.  I figured this was enough time to find someone to come with me and arrange my work schedule.  I got a phone call the next afternoon from the new medical oncologist. The soonest they could get me in was the 25th of September, so I took it.

Now, to bring myself back up and be confident and healthy again...

Phone Consult with Dr. Cervantes

9/4/13

I was very happy to have this phone conversation with my good buddy Dr. Cervantes.  I was a bit disappointed by my CT results even though they were quite positive.  I guess I just wanted to see complete eradication of all disease.  I have been working so hard, and I have been so good at sticking with it.  Honestly, the diet is not hard for me at all.  I don't have any cravings.  I just wanted so badly for things to work super fast even though I know God has a plan, and things work in their own good time.  

Anyhow, the first thing Dr. Cervantes says when he gets on the phone is that he is very pleased with the CT results.  No progression of the disease, and in fact it seems as if the lymph nodes under the breast bone on the right side have become normal.  Yay!  He wasn't concerned about the lymph nodes in my armpit at all.  He was sure the only reason they could be seen at all is because my body was reacting to the therapy.  When this happens, my body starts to attack any cancer cells in the body.  When your body is fighting anything off, it causes inflammation and slight swelling at the site.  This inflammation would then make it much easier to see on any imaging. 

I'm not sure why I needed validation from him because I knew all of this, but this is just what I needed and wanted to hear from him.  Maybe it is because this is what he does for a living and he knows it all inside and out.  I was happy with this and was ready to hear what else he had to tell me, so we began to go through the labs one by one.  We started with the CBC (Complete blood count):

He was happy with my complete blood count.  He said the numbers are showing the my body is reacting well to the nutrients I'm feeding it, and it is creating a good immune response.  

The Auto Differnetial just breaks down the numbers of the white blood cells (WBC), and again it shows good immune response as Dr. Cervantes puts it.  

The Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (CMP) was very good as well.  It showed that my kidneys and liver are functioning very well which is so important for my body to detox correctly.  My sodium and potassium levels also were in good order.  

My UA or urinalysis did show a +1 for leukocytes or white blood cells (WBC).  This is not really bad or dangerous, but it can be a sign that I have an infection of some sort.  Most likely I had a very mild UTI or other similar infection.  Dr. Cervantes didn't seem very worried, but he did encourage me to be extra sure to eat my plain, nonfat yogurt each morning and night.  He was very pleased with my high pH.

My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was right on.  No worries there.  

My T4 Free was good as well.  Not a surprise.

My Lipid panel showed that my overall cholesterol was very good.  Of course my HDL or good cholesterol was a bit low, but once again not surprising when the only fat I have every day is 1 tablespoon of flax seed oil.

My Vitamin D jumped from a 29 last month to a 34 this month and is now in the normal range.  I guess that's what will happen when you take 5000 IU a day to help with that.

Once he was done with the labs he asked about my weight.  (I thought he should know better than to ask a girl this, but he is a man and a doctor.)  I had actually gained two pounds back this last month.  He was very happy about this.  Of course I was not underweight or anything, but this meant that he could once again increase the amount of potassium compound I could use with each drink.  It must make a big difference.

Now for the new schedule....

Here are the big changes he implemented for me this month:

1. Castor oil treatment only once a week. (Yay!)
2. Potassium from 1 teaspoon to 2 teaspoons
3. Make sure to get lots of sleep.  If needed on occasion do just 4 coffee breaks a day to get the extra rest needed.
4. If I want, I can wait until the end of October for the next phone consult.  (I have to have it done monthly so I can have them write a letter to my work monthly to update them on m condition...)

He commented multiple times how happy he was with my progress.  He called me Super Mom a few times, but I told him it was really Super Dad around this place.  I couldn't do this without all of the hard work of my husband.  To be honest, all of my friends and family have been amazing in so many ways.  I'm blessed!

My Four Month CT Scan

9/3/13

So, early the day after Labor Day weekend, I had my four month CT scan done.  I was counting down the days to see what was going on in there.  I was pretty excited to say the least.  I just wanted the good news to share with everyone.  From the beginning of this journey, I have felt that I was going to make it through this.  

I had the scan at the hospital with my old work buddies.  They were so good to me, and Sandy only had to poke me once to get the IV in.  Yay!  The CT was of my complete chest, abdomen, and pelvis.  It is designed to see and look for metastasis of the disease process to all of my major organs especially the liver, lungs, and bones.  These three places are the most common areas for metastasis.  

Just as a review, I will once again share with you what was seen on the PET/CT done four months earlier just before my double mastectomy.  First, the entire left breast was affected with multiple lymph nodes near and around the axilla or arm pit area.  Luckily, the right side seemed to be free of any metastasis.  The one not so great part about the right side was a lymph node lit up on the inside of the chest just under the sternum or breast bone.  

The scan itself was uneventful, and so I was able to go start my juicing and the rest of my daily schedule.

Just a bit after 10 am, I got a phone call from my surgeon who was the ordering physician for the scan.  He's always so good about getting a hold of me in a timely manner.  He Jumped in to say that he got the results to my CT scan.  He said first the lymph nodes inside the chest cavity itself seemed to be of normal shape and size now.  Of course they can only really be called normal after a biopsy.  Next, he said that there we at least two lymph nodes seen still in my axilla or armpit area.  There was no metastasis to any of the major organs that they could see.  That was the best news of all!

He then said he would like to make an appointment to see me, and I commented that we already had one scheduled for Thursday, and I would see him then.