Mesothelioma Awareness Day ( September 26)

This post is in honor of my dear friends Terry and Donna.  I met Terry at Clinica Nutricion y Vida (the Gerson Clinic in Tijauna, Mexico).  Terry is a United States Navy veteran, and was diagnosed with mesothelioma just a couple of years ago.  He has an angel of a wife, and together with a great faith in God, they show the world how to be beautiful, giving human beings no matter your lot in life.  They are truly amazing and an example to us all.

So, on Thursday, (Mesothelioma Awareness Day), check out the link below to see some common facts and information on Mesothelioma.

http://www.mesothelioma.com/blog/authors/emily/8-things-you-should-know-about-mesothelioma.htm

The website is full of great resources and information for anyone seeking it.  Thank you to Emily for making me more aware.

My Four Month Post-Op and CT Scan Review

9/5/13

Well, I was riding on a natural high after speaking with Dr. Cervantes the day before this visit.  I was truly so excited about what Dr. Cervantes had to tell me.  I think I was a little distracted with this though, and so I didn't prepare myself as well for this visit as I normally would have.  

When Mom and I got to his office, it was the normal check-in process:  wait, get vitals, go over history, and "strip down to the waist" and "put the paper top on".  Then you just wait for the doctor to come in.

When he did make it in there, he greeted us, and he gave me my copy of "Dying to Have Known" documentary back.  He mentioned that he did watch all 52 chapters of it.  Wow.  I then asked him how he liked it.  He said something to the effect that it was fine, but he did think it was a bit anecdotal.  Fair point.  I then mentioned I should have given him Dr. Gerson's book.  It was full of facts, studies, charts, and lots of boring information.  (It is written by a scientist and man wanting to show his research, so this isn't bad.  It just is more factual and less fluff.)  He mentioned that boring is more to his liking if it shows the research.  Got it.

He quickly moved on to the CT scan.  Once again there was no spreading to any vital organs.  The lymph nodes under the sternum seemed to have shrunk and be of normal shape and size.  There were still lymph nodes in the left armpit area that seemed abnormal.  Got it.

He then wanted to do a physical exam on me to see if he could feel any lymph nodes and check my surgical scars, etc.  No problem.  This is a normal thing from a doctor especially one that recently did surgery on me.  He knew just where to look after seeing the scan and seeing the lymph nodes on it.  He found the first one right in my armpit just under one of the scars I carried from the biopsy in March.  He asked if I had noticed it feeling larger than normal, and I mentioned I could only feel just a tiny bit of scar tissue just below the scar. He wasn't so sure it was just scar tissue anymore though.

The next place he found something was sitting on top of my clavicle in the lateral 1/3.  He had me feel it, but it was quite hard to feel anything.  All the same, it made me feel sad that he could feel anything anywhere. No matter.  I still had some great results and it was something to celebrate.

At this point he recommended that I find a radiation oncologist for a consult and recommended a biopsy of the lymph node in my axilla.  He would also like for me to see another normal oncologist for that matter.  He didn't feel like my current oncologist was serving me in any capacity, so maybe it would be good to see someone else.

I really didn't see the point of that since they are all trained the same.  They know chemotherapy, and they know radiation.  They really don't know any other alternatives to the conventional, so why see them?  He then said he would like for me to see a certain one that didn't even see breast cancer cases anymore, but he could get me in.

I laughed inappropriately at this.  I don't know why, but it seemed funny.  He looked at me in a funny way, and said, "Really I can."  I felt like he was coming from a place of true concern and care, so I felt a little silly.  I was a little embarrassed at my outburst and a bit touched, but still not really interested at all.

At this point, Mom did pipe in with some good thoughts.  Here it is in a nutshell.  First, according to them, I was basically a stage IV (this came from my oncologist as a scare tactic on the last visit), and at this point all the treatment they could give me would just extend my life, not save it.  (Just to set the record straight I am not stage IV.  I am not symptomatic, and I have no pain, etc.  I feel great.)  So, why would I even consider doing chemo and radiation at this point?  It would just make my quality of life miserable.

My surgeon replied that yes the above is basically true, but if I were to let the lymph nodes in my armpit grow out of control or spread to other regions, I could get a festering wound and infections. At that point my quality of life would be horrible anyways.  Why would I let things get out of hand?  Why not try to make things as bearable as possible?

I was a little freaked out at how they were talking.  To be honest, I remember my oncologist saying something slightly similar at the last visit, but for some reason when I heard my mom say it and then the surgeon confirm it, my wonderful phone consult with Dr. Cervantes the day before didn't matter.  My heart fell, and I felt scared for the first time since my original diagnosis back in March.  It is a horrible feeling to be stuck in fear, and when you are in that place, you just feel helpless.

So, he asked me if I would be willing to go for a consult with the radiation oncologist and also with a new medical oncologist.  From my place of fear I said okay.  What can it hurt to consult with them?  Talking doesn't hurt.  He said he would get things set up for me.  He also stated he would like to keep an eye on things, so he wanted me back in a month.  I said that was fine, and he said he would arrange for me to see the other oncologists.

I broke down a little bit once he left, and I told Mom I was feeling a bit down.  Why had I let this get me down?  Why could he make me feel this way?  I suppose it would be more appropriate to say why did I let what he said make me feel this way?  That's when I realized that I hadn't protected myself and prepared myself to hear what he was going to say and find.  I knew he would say and do these things, and I didn't mentally prepare myself.

Mom was great and she did her best to get me focused back on healing and not the fear that I felt, for she knows as well as I that to win you must put your attention on healing and being whole.  If I focus on the fear, that is all I feel, and the fight is over.  I know for me this battle is all about my attitude and the way I carry myself and on keeping the faith.  It is about keeping the faith in God, Heavenly Father, Jesus, The Creator etc., but mostly it is about keeping the faith in myself.  God gave me this battle so that I would show my true self.  I am powerful.  I am healed and whole and healthy.  This is not a punishment but a gift.  He is showing me that I am able to do anything.  I am capable of everything.  The impossible is possible.

Once Mom and I had a good talk, I let her go, and I headed on home.  Before I got too far, I got a phone call to set up my radiation oncology appointment.  That was fast.  I guess he really can pull some strings.  I set the appointment up for the next Tuesday.  I figured this was enough time to find someone to come with me and arrange my work schedule.  I got a phone call the next afternoon from the new medical oncologist. The soonest they could get me in was the 25th of September, so I took it.

Now, to bring myself back up and be confident and healthy again...

Phone Consult with Dr. Cervantes

9/4/13

I was very happy to have this phone conversation with my good buddy Dr. Cervantes.  I was a bit disappointed by my CT results even though they were quite positive.  I guess I just wanted to see complete eradication of all disease.  I have been working so hard, and I have been so good at sticking with it.  Honestly, the diet is not hard for me at all.  I don't have any cravings.  I just wanted so badly for things to work super fast even though I know God has a plan, and things work in their own good time.  

Anyhow, the first thing Dr. Cervantes says when he gets on the phone is that he is very pleased with the CT results.  No progression of the disease, and in fact it seems as if the lymph nodes under the breast bone on the right side have become normal.  Yay!  He wasn't concerned about the lymph nodes in my armpit at all.  He was sure the only reason they could be seen at all is because my body was reacting to the therapy.  When this happens, my body starts to attack any cancer cells in the body.  When your body is fighting anything off, it causes inflammation and slight swelling at the site.  This inflammation would then make it much easier to see on any imaging. 

I'm not sure why I needed validation from him because I knew all of this, but this is just what I needed and wanted to hear from him.  Maybe it is because this is what he does for a living and he knows it all inside and out.  I was happy with this and was ready to hear what else he had to tell me, so we began to go through the labs one by one.  We started with the CBC (Complete blood count):

He was happy with my complete blood count.  He said the numbers are showing the my body is reacting well to the nutrients I'm feeding it, and it is creating a good immune response.  

The Auto Differnetial just breaks down the numbers of the white blood cells (WBC), and again it shows good immune response as Dr. Cervantes puts it.  

The Comprehensive Metabolic Panel (CMP) was very good as well.  It showed that my kidneys and liver are functioning very well which is so important for my body to detox correctly.  My sodium and potassium levels also were in good order.  

My UA or urinalysis did show a +1 for leukocytes or white blood cells (WBC).  This is not really bad or dangerous, but it can be a sign that I have an infection of some sort.  Most likely I had a very mild UTI or other similar infection.  Dr. Cervantes didn't seem very worried, but he did encourage me to be extra sure to eat my plain, nonfat yogurt each morning and night.  He was very pleased with my high pH.

My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) was right on.  No worries there.  

My T4 Free was good as well.  Not a surprise.

My Lipid panel showed that my overall cholesterol was very good.  Of course my HDL or good cholesterol was a bit low, but once again not surprising when the only fat I have every day is 1 tablespoon of flax seed oil.

My Vitamin D jumped from a 29 last month to a 34 this month and is now in the normal range.  I guess that's what will happen when you take 5000 IU a day to help with that.

Once he was done with the labs he asked about my weight.  (I thought he should know better than to ask a girl this, but he is a man and a doctor.)  I had actually gained two pounds back this last month.  He was very happy about this.  Of course I was not underweight or anything, but this meant that he could once again increase the amount of potassium compound I could use with each drink.  It must make a big difference.

Now for the new schedule....

Here are the big changes he implemented for me this month:

1. Castor oil treatment only once a week. (Yay!)
2. Potassium from 1 teaspoon to 2 teaspoons
3. Make sure to get lots of sleep.  If needed on occasion do just 4 coffee breaks a day to get the extra rest needed.
4. If I want, I can wait until the end of October for the next phone consult.  (I have to have it done monthly so I can have them write a letter to my work monthly to update them on m condition...)

He commented multiple times how happy he was with my progress.  He called me Super Mom a few times, but I told him it was really Super Dad around this place.  I couldn't do this without all of the hard work of my husband.  To be honest, all of my friends and family have been amazing in so many ways.  I'm blessed!

My Four Month CT Scan

9/3/13

So, early the day after Labor Day weekend, I had my four month CT scan done.  I was counting down the days to see what was going on in there.  I was pretty excited to say the least.  I just wanted the good news to share with everyone.  From the beginning of this journey, I have felt that I was going to make it through this.  

I had the scan at the hospital with my old work buddies.  They were so good to me, and Sandy only had to poke me once to get the IV in.  Yay!  The CT was of my complete chest, abdomen, and pelvis.  It is designed to see and look for metastasis of the disease process to all of my major organs especially the liver, lungs, and bones.  These three places are the most common areas for metastasis.  

Just as a review, I will once again share with you what was seen on the PET/CT done four months earlier just before my double mastectomy.  First, the entire left breast was affected with multiple lymph nodes near and around the axilla or arm pit area.  Luckily, the right side seemed to be free of any metastasis.  The one not so great part about the right side was a lymph node lit up on the inside of the chest just under the sternum or breast bone.  

The scan itself was uneventful, and so I was able to go start my juicing and the rest of my daily schedule.

Just a bit after 10 am, I got a phone call from my surgeon who was the ordering physician for the scan.  He's always so good about getting a hold of me in a timely manner.  He Jumped in to say that he got the results to my CT scan.  He said first the lymph nodes inside the chest cavity itself seemed to be of normal shape and size now.  Of course they can only really be called normal after a biopsy.  Next, he said that there we at least two lymph nodes seen still in my axilla or armpit area.  There was no metastasis to any of the major organs that they could see.  That was the best news of all!

He then said he would like to make an appointment to see me, and I commented that we already had one scheduled for Thursday, and I would see him then.  

My Return to Work

I returned to work on Thursday, August 1.  Dr. Cervantes wasn't too excited about me returning so soon or at all for that matter, but he understood that it needed to be for my family.  He agreed that I could try it out, but only for 4 hours at a time.

Work itself isn't the hard part.  The hard part is making sure I get my 13 juices and 5 coffee breaks in during the day.  Not only that, I am still doing the castor oil twice a week.  I figured the best way to make it work is to wake up an hour earlier.  If you do that, I will do a 5am coffee break, an 8:30am coffee break, and an 11:45am coffee break before I have to make it to work at 1pm.

I also had to figure out my green drinks.  I have no problems with the carrot drink because they keep for about 4 hours and keep their nutritional value. The green drink only keeps for about 15 minutes, so there's no way I'm taking those to work.  So, I decided that I could start my meals and breakfast an hour earlier too.  Breakfast at 7am with my orange juice and then an 8am green.  This is quickly followed by my 8:30am carrot/apple juice and the 9am carrot apple juice.  I will then have a 10am carrot juice and an 11am green juice.

At this point I'm getting ready for work, so I have to prepare all my juices for work and still get my last green juice and lunch in.  I work it out so that I eat lunch between 11am and 11:30am.   I quickly get my last coffee break in, and then I make two carrot juices and two carrot/apple juices to take to work.  Lastly I will make another green juice and drink that down really quick.  It keeps me busy and on my toes, but it can be done especially if you prep all the veggies, etc. the night before.

Honestly work seems like a piece of cake after I run the marathon I do at home just to get ready for work. It is strange to be at work though.  Right before my surgery, I took a new job at an out patient imaging center. It is a godsend now.  I don't know if I could keep up at the hospital now.  The only drawback with the new job is I left about one week into it.  I was gone for about 3 months.  Combine that with learning new computers and machines and adding x-ray and DEXA into the mix, and I was a bit overwhelmed for sure. Thankfully x-ray is coming back pretty quickly, and DEXA is coming along.  My co-workers have been pretty patient with me, so that's a big bonus.

When 5pm comes around and it's quitting time, I hit the door running.  I know that when I get home, I have to hurry with my next coffee break, get dinner going, and make the rest of my juices.  Oh, and there is fitting in some family time before the boys head to bed.  It is doable.  Thank goodness for a wonderful husband. Without him, I'm pretty sure this whole thing would not work.

It really isn't too horrible.  I usually have dinner ready for myself the night before, and Nick is okay getting himself and the little ones fed.  It has happened a couple of time where I will have something in the slow cooker, but let's be realistic.  This doesn't happen much.  When I finish my coffee break, I hurry and make my 6pm apple/carrot juice.  Then I scarf my potato, yogurt, and soup.  Rather than wait for 7pm to come around for the last drink of the day, I just hurry and make my green juice as soon as dinner is finished.  This way I can hurry and clean up and spend the rest of the night with the kiddos before bed.

The boys go to bed anywhere between 7pm and 8pm depending on how they are acting.  Usually, it is closer to 8pm.  I am usually suckered into "sleeping" with the oldest to get him to go to bed (at least 3 times a week).  I don't mind this, but then there is usually less time for me to make my Hippocrates soup and prep the veggies for the next day.  By 9pm it is time for my last coffee break, and then I get to go to bed.

To me now it seems overwhelming at times, but I do know it is doable.  It just takes some getting used to and lots of practice, and then I'm set.  Looking forward to that day...

My July Labs and Phone Consult

7/30/13

It is time to update my new blood results.  Every month I have a CBC with auto differential, a comprehensive metabolic, a TSH, a T4 Free, and and a urinalysis done.  I found a prescription pad from good Dr. Cervantes a few days before the blood draw, and I found that he also wanted a full lipid panel and vitamin D tested as well, so that's what we did.  

On my CBC, everything was within normal limits.  Dr. Cervantes had nothing to worry about from this simple test.  

On the auto differential, he specifically pointed out the neutrophils and the lymphocytes and said they were great and indicated that I was having a great immune system response.  This month also my eosinophils were at a much better limit hopefully meaning that my allergies from meds or even seasonal allergies weren't bothering my system at all.  Yay!

My metabolic panel was showing great liver and kidney function.  My potassium was a touch high he said, but within normal limits, so he recommend that I decrease my potassium compound.  My sugars or glucose were also good.  My calcium and protein showed that they were also within normal limits.  This can sometimes be a worry for a person that has so many food restrictions, but this is something I don't have to worry about.

My lipids or blood cholesterol looked very good.  My HDL (my good cholesterol) was a bit low, but considering that my cholesterol in general was quite low (I'm eating no animal fat and just a bit of flax seed oil every day), I think I will overlook this one.

My TSH (thyroid stimulating hormone) came back in the normal range this time around.  It rose from less than 0.02 to 2.27 this time.  Exactly right.  I was taken off of the thyroid grain last tie due to this, and luckily my metabolism is still doing well.  

Once again my T4 Free is within normal range.

My vitamin D test shows that I'm running a bit low here.  Not surprising seeing that I have been told to stay out of the sun, and if I go into the sun, I'm to wear long sleeves and a hat at all times.  To counter my slightly low vitamin D, Dr. Cervantes has recommended I take 5000 IU (international units) of vitamin D3 a day.  Easy fix!

Lastly we have my urinalysis here.  I forgot to have it ordered, so I did a quick one at my doctors office, but can be confusing if you don't know how to read it, so I will translate.

Leukocytes: negative, Nitrites: negative, Urobilinogen: 0.2, Protein: negative, pH: 7.5, Occult blood: positive, Specific Gravity: 1.005, Ketones: negative, Bilirubin: negative, Glucose: negative, Color: yellow, Clarity: Clear.  

All within normal limits except the blood part, but that can be accounted for since I was on my period at the time of the test.  

So, here's my new hourly schedule.  Not much different than the last one.  

Just to give a quick run down of the differences, I made a very short list.

1. Lower Potassium compound from 3 tsp./ drink to 1 tsp./drink.
2. Supplement with 5000 IU of vitamin D3 per day
3. Change enema formula to 8 oz. coffee in 24 oz. of distilled water 

Pretty much everything looks and sounds good in my book.  Looking forward to another good month in August!

More Than the Physical

It is my personal opinion that my diagnosis of breast cancer was not just a sign of my physical health in distress but also my mental, emotional, and spiritual health as well.  I have seen it in my line of work many times where stress or a traumatic event has caused a patient to manifest physical illness.  For me it was a wake up call to find me. It was time to take care of issues I had set aside or forgotten.

I did some research on this, and I found some credible sources that agree with me on the subject.  I will include some of them here in case you are of a curious mind as I sometimes can be...

http://www.health.harvard.edu/newsletters/Harvard_Womens_Health_Watch/2008/July/Anxiety_and_physical_illness

http://faculty.weber.edu/molpin/healthclasses/1110/bookchapters/stresseffectschapter.htm

http://www.csun.edu/~vcpsy00h/students/illness.htm

http://www.naturalnews.com/039576_christiane_northrup_hidden_emotions_mental_health.html

I'm not saying that I have had a terrible life or that I am crazy, but I am saying that in the rush of growing up and wanting to be an adult, I forgot to really live my life.  I became a drone.  I had to go to school.  I had to find a job.  I needed to get married.  I needed to have kids.  Somewhere in there I lost myself.  Don't get me wrong.  I love being a wife and a mother more than anything, but I did forget to take care of myself.  I think we often do.

So once I got this wake up call, I decided to take care of myself in many different ways.  The first thing I did was take care of myself physically with the surgery and lifestyle change of the Gerson Therapy.  After that, it was time to take care of myself mentally, emotionally, and spiritually.  So far I have done a few different things.

First, I started Rapid Eye Technology or RET.  Now you want to know what RET is, huh?  To describe this, I will quote directly from the official RET website.

"RET is a natural, safe way to release stress and trauma. RET simulates REM sleep, your body’s own natural release system. This powerful quick release happens without reliving the trauma. Accessing the whole mind/body system while in an awake state allows you to be in control of your own journey. RET empowers individuals to live a happy, productive life by releasing negative belief systems, negative thought forms, and emotions—all of which contribute to emotional stress."

This information and more can be found at their website http://rapideyetechnology.com.

So far I have had just a few sessions, but I feel good afterwards.  There are many scripts as they put it that deal with different issues, so I feel as though I may as well go through all of the scripts to take care of as much as possible.  All I know is it can't hurt me in any way.

After my diagnosis, I wanted to explore meditation.  I saw a local family practice doctor and Osteopathic physician, and expressed to her my wish.  She is very in tune with this side of medicine and just recently she started a class for the public including many of her patients.  I just attended the first class, and already I feel a connection with everyone there.

We spent our time there discussing the topic and creating a community of openness.  We explored stillness and different breathing techniques.  Everyone brought their own experiences and expertise to the group, and that was good to explore different ways of doing things.  I'm pretty excited to learn more with the group.

Another thing I have done is course recommended to me by my mother.  It is called Alchemists Authentic Leadership Course.  It was amazing on so many levels.  It was a class with many different people from many different walks of life.  I not only was able to learn about myself, but I was able to learn through the other's experiences as well.  Here are their guiding values.

Used with permission from the Heartway Foundation

One of the things that I loved so much about the class was that we did body learning.  In my own words body learning was learning mentally, emotionally, and spiritually while using your body to teach you.  It was amazing to me how much my body knew about me already but that I just wasn't getting on all levels.  If you're interested in learning more about this just Google body learning, and you will get a million results.

We also did fun stuff like art therapy, etc.  An example of this is when the instructors told us to draw a tree.  From that drawing, they were able to tell us stuff about ourselves just by looking at the drawing.  It was so fun.

A couple of other drawings I did while in the class...

A drawing of my grandparents' cabin with all the cousins and even a baby and the boat in the corner.

I think I drew a picture of myself as a child because I'm ready to learn and I want to listen to my inner child more often and have fun.  

Music also played a big part in this class.  It is amazing the power that music can have on a person.  It can express so much in in such an emotional way.  We all chose a dance song for an exercise, and it was a big help to bring us closer.  Now every time I hear those songs, I will think of my friends.  

I have to say I learned so much from this class.  The instructors and the rest of the group were amazing.  It is crazy how close you can get to a couple of people that you don't know in just a couple of days if you let it all happen.  I guess with everything we did together it would be hard not to feel close to them.  

Some things that I will take away from this class are that I have so many talents and a lot of life experiences that I can use to help others.  I am more powerful than I ever would have imagined, and I have influenced people for the positive by sharing myself.  In the past I have been hesitant to open to others in fear of being hurt.  I'm working on this.  

I also learned (or more appropriately re-learned) that you can't judge a person by what you see on the outside.  Of course I got the part that we should treat everyone as human and a special child of God, but I never would have guessed that I shared certain life experiences with so many of my classmates until they shared them.  It touched my heart in so many ways.  It made me feel like I was not so alone as I thought many times in my life.  It was even very surprising how much I didn't know about people I had know for years and just didn't see.  I was so blind in so many ways.  It is amazing how we are all connected. 

Of course this is just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to this class and what I learned personally.  I will never forget this class.  I will never forget the people, and I know that I have made some life long friends. 

So far, this is what I have done for myself on more than the physical level.  I will do more.  I have found that this will be a lifelong work to better myself and continually learn and grow and heal and help others.